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Joke of the Day

"This drink tastes like the neighbors will be hearing late night small arms fire. I swear I just saw a coyote or a squirrel or a tree or a..."

"I was going to make a joke about anal sex... ...butt fuck it."

"Gay pride parade? Why isn't there a straight pride parade? They tried that but people kept on thinking it was the checkout line at Home Depot."

"I took my dog to the vet The vet picked up the dog and examined him and said ""I'm sorry, I've got to put him down"". ""Why, what's wrong with him?"" ""He's too heavy"""

"How many fuccbois does it take to screw in a lightbulb? idk, you dtf tho?"

"I've put a hole in a bar of soap and I use it to masturbate. Normally I wouldn't share this kind of information, but I just have to cum clean."

"Good news for insomniacs Only 3 more sleeps till Christmas!!"

"My high must be wearing off, because that cop car that pulled me over 20 minutes ago is starting to look like a house with Christmas lights."

"There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage."

"What did pirate say when he turned 80? AYE MATEY"