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Joke of the Day

"I took my dog to the vet The vet picked up the dog and examined him and said ""I'm sorry, I've got to put him down"". ""Why, what's wrong with him?"" ""He's too heavy"""

"What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look! I'm changing!"

"I let Ellen drive the bus... Pao! Atlest she was able to digg our graves."

"Don't ever go camping. That shit's intense."

"*shows up to marathon with perfect hair* Yeah I've been conditioning a lot for this race"

"Why are there no joke about Jonestown? The punchlines are too long."

"""Congratulations, the baby's got green overalls!"" Peach sobs. Mario flies into a rage."

"I don't always drink tequila but when I do, where the hell are my clothes?"

"Cum leaves the body at almost 30 miles per hour, which means it is illegal to ejaculate in a school zone. I don't think the speed was why I was arrested though."

"""Use divorce, Luke."" """" Obi Wan, marriage counselor"