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Joke of the Day

"I've put a hole in a bar of soap and I use it to masturbate. Normally I wouldn't share this kind of information, but I just have to cum clean."

"What did the owner of a brownie factory say when his factory caught fire? ""I'm getting the fudge outta here!"""

"She needs to slow her roll. Only been with my girlfriend for two months and she wants to meet my parents. She needs to chill, i waited nine months before meeting them myself."

"Free air! (Help yourself.)"

"What do you call a 30 foot purple dinosaur named Fred who has acne and is scared of penguins? Fred."

"I was told today that my muslim optician had passed away....Asif Eyecare."

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So people don't confuse them with your mom."

"Plastic Surgeon Did you hear about the plastic surgeon who hung himself?"

"* Runs Baywatch-style into oncoming traffic *"

"CIA: So what did you call that new tracking software we put on everyone's iPhone? NSA: ""U2's New Album"""