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Joke of the Day

"If any ladies out there need jars opened or items from a high shelf, HomeDepot sells rubber grips & ladders. -match.com bio"

"A rapist, paedophile and priest enter a bar. He orders a beer."

"robber 1: *puts ski mask on head* you grab the money while i kiss all the bankers robber 2: huh? robber 1: uh i meant kill *hides lipstick*"

"I'm gonna have a secret lair that consists of toilets and sinks. It'll be called ""John Sinclair's john and sink lair"""

"What do you call a dwarf psychic who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"Why is my kitchen floor so gross I just mopped like 3 months ago."

"[Interview] ""Why'd you leave ur last job?"" My boss felt threatened by me [Flashback to juggling lighters after dousing boss in gasoline]"

"Sir you haven't touched your custard. I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline !"

"Rapper Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Fo' drizzle. :)"

"Q: What does a bankrupt frog say? A: ""Baroke baroke baroke."""