84748

Joke of the Day

"If any ladies out there need jars opened or items from a high shelf, HomeDepot sells rubber grips & ladders. -match.com bio"

"What does the CEO of Keurig have in common with ISIS? They both hate the French press"

"I was dating a radiologist... but it didn't work out: she could see right though me."

"What's heavier: a ton of gold or a ton of feathers? The feathers. The gold's weight is measured using the Troy measurement system in which an ounce is 12 ""regular"" ounces. The more you know..."

"Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ? Someone else's !"

"Karate Kid (1984) Two grown adults enlist minors to fight a martial arts proxy war."

"What is Forest Gump's Email password? 1Forest1"

"I can always tell when someone is lying by tying them down and strapping them to a lie detector."

"Everyone criticizes the Salem Witch Trials, but we haven't had a witch attack in over 200 years."

"Russian Cosmonauts have been banned from telling jokes on the Interational Space Station... ... because they always involve Mir puns."