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Joke of the Day

"Karate Kid (1984) Two grown adults enlist minors to fight a martial arts proxy war."

"How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men"

"If a man tells you he'll fix it, he will fix it. There is no need to incessantly remind him about it every 5 to 6 months."

"Why did the mother cat pick up her kittens? She didn't want to litter"

"Did you hear about the crew members of the USS Enterprise that needed help climbing into their bunks? They were hoisted by their own Picard."

"My doctor said I shouldn't binge drink, so now I just drink all the time."

"Imagine if you found a dresser made by Jesus during his ""carpenter"" days. The guys on Antique Roadshow would lose their minds."

"Hide a Body? What's the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google."

"What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an arsehole? Barack Obama's Tie"

"Someone stole all the toilets from the police station downtown. The cops have nothing to go on."