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Joke of the Day

"What do crazy girlfriends and chocolate have in common? They both kill your dog"

"A German bakers was robbed... Apparently everything was stollen."

"Always remember that the key to a happy marriage is to use those three magic words. You're right dear."

"Honestly some folk will take offense at anything. I met a bloke with no legs this morning at the Bus Stop. All I asked was ""How you getting on?"""

"What type of condom does Spock use? Vulcanized rubber!"

"I want to die like my grandpa, peaceful and in his sleep. Not screaming and terrified, like the passengers in his car."

"I absolutely despise double-standards... Except when it's me, then it's okay."

"They say attractiveness is relative... my cousin seemed to disagree"

"I start every argument off with ""first of all..."" like I'm really going to school them, but my second point is always just name calling."

"How do you measure a Lego minifigure's shoe size? In square feet."