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Joke of the Day

"I want to die like my grandpa, peaceful and in his sleep. Not screaming and terrified, like the passengers in his car."

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"80% of being Donald Trump is just worrying that the wind will blow your weird combover in the wrong direction."
"I'm naming my kid Johncena Because he was unexpected"
"I'm rabidly against plagiarism, but I guess if you're going to steal something, a Columbus joke at least makes sense"
"Kim Jong il is dead? I guess that's the end of HIS Korea."
"The bible says any man who lies with a man should be taken out and stoned, so I took all my gay friends out and got them wasted."
"""You want me to copy AND paste a link? I am not made of time, good sir!"" Humanity, 2011"
"Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend? He was a boar."
"Do you know who I saw yesterday? Everyone I looked at"
"What has happened to common sense these days? Its become nothing but pocket change."