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Joke of the Day

"""No one cares about the jews"" ""Yeah, they do"" ""No they don't. During the holocaust i killed 3 jews and one clown"" ""Why one clown?"" ""See? No one cares about the jews"""

"I'll never hire a monkey plumber off Reddit again! I told him my pipes were clogged up, he recommended a banana for scale."

"white girls be like i'll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign spice latte"

"I always sleep naked. I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable, they can just switch buses."

"What do you call someone addicted to both crack and weed? A rockin' roller."

"I'm so drunk right now I just walked into Canadian customs and shouted ""Why y'all checkin' me?! Ur the ones with a pot leaf on your flag!!"""

"If Adrian Peterson played baseball, how would he bat? Switch Hitter"

"*waits for you to fall asleep* *rolls out from under your bed* *moisturizes your knees and elbows*"

"Gabe Newell! Gabe Newell lived from 1962 until Half-Life 3, confirmed!"

"How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast? He foamed at the mouth."