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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by insulting a one-armed foreigner visiting my town. I called him a tourist."

"Let's take all the bad science jokes... And barium."

"How often do I think about Keira? Knightley."

"Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only 1 hand? because she is moaning with the other."

"Harry Potter joke Q. Why can't Snape teach Herbology? A. He can't keep the lilies alive."

"What is less Kosher than a bacon wrapped shrimp? A communion wafer"

"Break-up if you can't be faithful. Stay faithful or stay single."

"I have two tear drop tattoos (one for each time I waved at a person who was waving to someone behind me)"

"""Did you know Jesus was a carpenter?"" -every carpenter, 100 times a day."

"Donald Trump's tweets are actually really entertaining if you imagine him tweeting from a gold toilet while having violent diarrhea."