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Joke of the Day
"Taking a nap until my carbon monoxide detector stops beeping."
Next Joke
"Why didn't Jesus have any children? He only got nailed by guys ;)"
"Hey girl, are you magnesium iron silicate hydroxide? Because you'll be cummingtonite"
"Kanye West named his kid North. Drake Bell says he'll name his first kid Taco. I think Jessica Biel should name her kid Batmo."
"What happens if a pyramid commits a crime? It is put in imPRISMment!"
"I would never give you a death sentence. It would be more like a paragraph."
"WIFE: What're you doing in the garage? ME: I made a cloning machine. WIFE: Don't do anything stupid. OTHER ME: Like what?"
"Thanks for keeping your Instagram account private. I'd hate for those pictures of your lunch to fall into the wrong hands."
"""Aww. You guys... And it's not even my real birthday! #flattered ."" -Jesus"
"Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack."