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Joke of the Day
"I would never give you a death sentence. It would be more like a paragraph."
Next Joke
"Why did the privileged white guy fail his algebra test? He didn't know enough about inequalities"
"I snort a lot of cocaine for a sober person."
"Two deer walk out of a bar. One turns to the other in disgust and says, ""I can't believe you blew 20 bucks in there."""
"A man wanted me to engage in necrophilia... NSFW I told him to drop dead"
"What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop."
"On one side of me was Dwayne Johnson, and the other, a stone fish. I guess I was just between the Rock and a hard plaice."
"I just found out that the guy who stole my journal has died. My thoughts are with his family."
"Me: OMG, Bill and Cindy got divorced!!! Hub: I know! He's got a fresh slate. That guys livin the dream! Me:... Hub:...his dream, not mine"
"Kourtney Kardashian named her daughter 'Penelope Scotland Disick'. In a related story, Scotland intends to change name of country ASAP."