84430

Joke of the Day

"I didn't come here tonight to win a popularity contest. Is there one though? Because that will probably affect my behaviour."

"Customer: Why don't you eat here waiter? Waiter: Serving it is bad enough I don't want to compound the felony."

"Today I had a three way with two women It was quite the conference call."

"What does an onion and a prostitute have in common? They give you really bad breath when you eat them."

"A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop says ""can I take your bags?"" ""No,"" she answers, ""I'm traveling light."" *(I'm new to the community, this is best I've got, I'm sorry)*"

"Not impressed with the speed of the internet back in my day, I could open my bedroom window in the fall and get Chile."

"What's a neckbeard's favourite element? Manga-nese."

"I have this weird fungal infection on my leg. I need to get rid of it, but it's kind of growing on me. (Sorry if repost, came up with it in science class today.)"

"What's the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?"

"That which does not kill me has been everything so far."