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Joke of the Day

"What does an onion and a prostitute have in common? They give you really bad breath when you eat them."

"When I treat people the way I want to be treated, they get weirded out when I start brushing their hair."

"4-year-old: *looks at our pig* Which pig is she? Me: What do you mean? 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks?"

"Sometimes, when I'm bored, I tell my mother-in-law to relax."

"What bone will a dog never eat a trombone"

"What do you call a small, noisy dog? A subwoofer."

"Why don't baseball players get much action? Because they have foul balls."

"What do you call a hippo in Antarctica?! LOST!! (I'll show myself out now)"

"I once dumped a cross eyed girl. I thought she was seeing someone else%3ss eyed girl. I thought she was seeing someone else"

"2Pac died because he lived the thug life. This 6 pack is going to die because I live the chug life."