197430

Joke of the Day

"I have this weird fungal infection on my leg. I need to get rid of it, but it's kind of growing on me. (Sorry if repost, came up with it in science class today.)"

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"How many political idealists does it take to change a light bulb? None, political idealists can't change anything."
"Why couldn't the teddy bear eat any more of its dinner? It was stuffed."
"TIFU when my finger tore through toilet paper while wiping. It was the most ass I'd gotten in a while."
"What's the difference between a triangle and Manchester United ? A triangle has three points"
"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? Nobody wants a garbanzo bean on their face....ha!"
"""I set all the cattle free."" - Reverse Cowgirl"
"I rather have a bottle of soda for President than Donald Trump. This way, we could truly have a Liter of the Free World."
"My ex is like Hurricane Katrina... She fucked New Orleans too."
"Girls who marry for money & guys who marry for beauty are equally robbed in the end."