197430

Joke of the Day

"I have this weird fungal infection on my leg. I need to get rid of it, but it's kind of growing on me. (Sorry if repost, came up with it in science class today.)"

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"Who sang the song that goes... ...""that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, I really love your tiger feet""?"
"What's the difference between half a dozen dicks and the truth? You can't handle the truth."
"My doctor sang this to me at my birthday ""Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You have terminal cancer. Your family'll miss you"""
"Chinese girl for her number I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."
"Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second hand shop!"
"Shout out to my loving wife, who has made me everything I am today... Fucking miserable"
"What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmothers pussy? Sucking out thirteen and realizing you only put in twelve"
"I just discovered the opposite of an orgasm. It was such an anti climax."
"When a woman says she doesn't want a boyfriend what she really means is that she doesn't want you"