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Joke of the Day

"Not impressed with the speed of the internet back in my day, I could open my bedroom window in the fall and get Chile."

"Parents: Stop making videos of your kid coming home from the dentist all fucked up."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, you chauvinist asshole!"

"Our laundry room flooded because an apple chunk clogged the washer hose. Go ahead, have kids. They have pocket apples."

"Punch Lines ""The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born."""

"Why is owning a Prius difficult? It's hard to drive when you're patting yourself on the back all the time."

"Where did Noah keep the Bees? In the Ark-Hives."

"When you're craving a Krabby Patty so bad!!! But the Krusty Krab is closed....and also fictional."

"What do a creationist and a dude with a dinosaur bone fetish have in common? They both get a hard on when they find a gap in the fossil record."

"I am forced to give up golf after breaking my leg. I fell off the ball washer."