84185

Joke of the Day

"I got fired today, because my boss caught me masturbating with a vegetable Apparently nursing homes have strict rules about what you can do with patients."

"Me: Got your nose! Baby: *drags from cig* Let me tell you how this is going down. You give me back my nose & maybe I let u walk out of here."

"Is your name WiFi, because I'm feeling the connection"

"Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is!"

"What is a snowman's favorite book ? War and Frozen Peas !"

"Isn't giving fellatio... ...Just a taste of what's to come?"

"My daughter just entered singing ""Love you like a love song"". So, your love has a 3 1/2 minute expiration date? Well, I guess that's honest."

"What's the difference between a fridge and a woman? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out"

"[hat shop] OWNER: Sir stop or I'll call the police UNICORN: [surrounded by damaged hats] No one will believe you"

"Once you learn about confirmation bias... ...you start seeing it everywhere!"