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Joke of the Day

"""What should we put in the middle of this mall?"" How bout some chairs? ""That idea sucks"" A little pond to throw money in? ""Oh hell yeah"""

"Roadside sign holders are secretly geniuses because they get paid to do something a pole does for nothing."

"Our grandchildren in 2060 ""Grandma, why did you look like a dog when you were a teen?"" I really hate that filter."

"I have a very nice joke about unemployment.. but it never works."

"What's the difference between a priest and a zit A zit waits until you're 12 before it comes on your face"

"If you draw a picture of a butthole on the questionnaire, there's a 95% chance you'll get out of jury duty. Would be 100%. But, Texas."

"my sleep schedule says ""party girl"" but my lifestyle says ""reclusive lunatic"""

"What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)"

"Want to avoid making excuses when people ask you to hang out? Always say no when someone asks ""wanna hear something amazing?"""

"I asked a poor pirate why he had a seagull on his shoulder instead of a proper parrot. ""Arrrr...it were on sail.'"