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Joke of the Day

"""What should we put in the middle of this mall?"" How bout some chairs? ""That idea sucks"" A little pond to throw money in? ""Oh hell yeah"""

"How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!"

"Why did they pull a lawsuit against the spa for their wax treatment? It was a ripoff."

"I used to be passive aggressive but now I'm aggressively passive. Don't mess with me, idiot. I'll sit right here. I'll f*cking forgive you."

"Why couldn't the bike stand by itself? because it was two tired"

"My biggest fear is that my last words before dying will be something less than poignant like, ""Gravy is nice."""

"3-year-old girl My 3-year-old niece, stomping her feet in anger, making faces. Me: What's wrong ? 3-year-old: NOTHING! Phew! she's already a woman :-o"

"Why did Jesus stop playing Hockey? Because he got nailed into the boards (It's a joke not to insult anyone)"

"I'm at my classiest when my date rips my bra off and cookie crumbs fall out"

"The Earth was concerned about the moon. The Sun tried to reassure the Earth. ""The moon is just going through a phase"" said the Sun."