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Joke of the Day

"If you draw a picture of a butthole on the questionnaire, there's a 95% chance you'll get out of jury duty. Would be 100%. But, Texas."

"Where do two electrons race? On a circuit"

"I just saw an article titled ""Can We build a Real Jurassic Park?"" DID YOU FORGET WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MOVIE?!"

"Did you hear about the Bob Marley impersonator? He's dreadful."

"Knock knock. Knock knock Who's there? Nobell Nobell who? Nobell that's why I knock lah."

"These one line jokes are really something ..they put you up straight in line of fire."

"I feel like every time a GOP candidate drops out, Oompa Loompas should appear & sing a song to teach us about the perils of gluttony & greed"

"A child in the coffee shop cried and cried until she was given a cake pop, and as I walked past, I whispered, ""Your technique is flawless."""

"A pirate goes to the doctor, worried the moles on his back are cancerous ""It's ok"" says the Doctor ""They're benign"" ""Count 'em again Doc"" says the pirate. ""I reckon there be at least ten"

"""This is literally the worst beer I've ever tasted."" *finishes six pack*"