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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a priest and a zit A zit waits until you're 12 before it comes on your face"

"Just once I want to wake up to something exciting. *Wakes up next to spider crawling on pillow."

"The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it... I'm gonna miss that baby..."

"I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy... ...but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque."

"Attention Girl: Why do you look so sad? Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint?"

"What does it take to be a president? Nothing"

"What did the palestinians give Yasser Arafat when he died? A 21 stone salute!"

"What do you call it when you marry your male cousin? Your Cuzband"

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff ba dum tsssshhh"

"One night stands in hotel rooms just don't do it for me anymore. That's why I always ask for a bed with two night stands."