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Joke of the Day

"I have a coworker whose humour gets drier ...as he gets more dehydrated. (True story)"

"Sorry I missed your call, I was busy seeing how many times my phone would ring before you gave up."

"The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize."

"What's similar between an elephant and a plum? They're both grey except for the plum."

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton? Bill has had sex in the White House."

"I'm interested in this girl who only dates Catholic guys... ... I guess you could call me a pope-less romantic"

"Autocorrect changed honey to homey. Now, instead of going out to a romantic dinner we will be doing a drive-by."

"How do the ladies get Batman to come? Ask Lt. Gordon to turn on the bat-signal. Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Why does Floyd Mayweather have ""TGIF"" written on his boxing shoes? To remind him that ""Toes Go in First."""

"My grandfather always said, ""Be envied, not envious."" I wish I'd thought of that quote."