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Joke of the Day

"Why does Floyd Mayweather have ""TGIF"" written on his boxing shoes? To remind him that ""Toes Go in First."""

"What did one hash brownie say to the other? We're so baked. What did the stoner say to his friend? I'm so high,I can hear the brownies talking to each other."

"I got arrested the other day for stealing full stops. I'm looking at a long sentence."

"Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't? A: Her navel."

"Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space? because it couldn't survive in the Battlefield."

"""Look guys! No hands!"" -captain of the Titanic"

"I tried to donate a kidney once... ...they wouldn't take it though because I wouldn't tell them where I got it."

"Is there such a thing as spontaneous feline combustion? Anyway, baking soda and vinegar are terrible for cats."

"Two elephants were standing in the shower. One elephant said to the other ""pass the soap"" the other elephant said ""there's no soap radio"""

"Life is like a box of chocolates: Disturbingly expensive, yet... vaguely disappointing."