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Joke of the Day

"There once was an algebraic instructionswoman who did not rinse out her mouth The function of Listerine to her breath varied inversely, as the function of Listerine went undefined throughout the year."

"""Another day another dollar."" - African kids"

"I never know what to do with my hands during sex. I just end up snapping my fingers along with the rhythm."

"""Jimmy, why did you bring your cat to school?"" ""Because my dad said 'When Jimmy leaves for school, that pussy is getting smashed!"" Kind of a lame post, but it's my first on the joke thread :/"

"Why do Republicans oppose Gay Marriage AND Obamacare? Because they hate mandates."

"One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost & people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for"

"I finally decided on my Halloween costume. I'm going to go as a French pancake chef; that'll really give people the crepes."

"What do you call a marijuana induced tragedy? Blunt Trauma"

"Welcome to Dick's hotdogs, if you like hotdogs, you'll love dicks."

"You drive a truck your whole life... and no one calls you a trucker; You suck one cock and all of a sudden you're a cocksucker!"