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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a marijuana induced tragedy? Blunt Trauma"

"Unlike his famous father, Lord Kelvin's son never amounted to much. He was an absolute zero."

"What do you get when ant's parents won't let him marry his girlfriend? Antelopes."

"My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 spacecraft computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses."

"I went through a Skrillex phase I had to stop though. It got expensive dropping everything all the time!"

"I'm the most indecisive person I know... At least, I think I am.."

"The museum curator was able to identify the slutty violin... ...it was a Straddlevarious :("

"Why does it see like fur is more hated than leather? Its easy to harass a 90lb aneroxic and walk away. It's a lot harder to do the same to the 250lb tattooed, long haired, biker."

"Your ex-girlfriend has endorsed you on LinkedIn for ""Ignoring Glaring Personal Issues!"""

"What can you find between the toes of the African elephant? Slow Africans."