29725

Joke of the Day

"Why do girls have nipples? Because without them tits would be pointless."

"I'm dating a feminist historian Not to brag, but I am -*really*- good in bed. She thinks I've been fucking her for thousands of years."

"My friend from Hollywood always told me, ""Shoot for the stars."" He was an assassin."

"Summer is here I'm at home and thinking: Should I go outside and look at those I can't fuck, or should I stay here and fuck the one I can't even look at?"

"The lord said to John ""Come forth and receive eternal life""... But John came in fifth and won a toaster instead."

"NSFW: ""Do you spit or swallow?"" I was out on a date with this girl, when I asked her, ""Do you spit or swallow?"" She slapped my face and stormed off... I'm never taking anyone to wine tasting again!!"

"The welsh are making a remake of a popular Nicolas Cage film. Goat rider."

"What's the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth? Albert Einstein's dick."

"Why don't woman have urinals in their bathroom Because they would clog it up with their tampons. HA HA j/k"

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs they screw in dirty sleeping bags."