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Joke of the Day

"One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost & people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for"

"Why did the director get kicked out of the bar? He was making a scene!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bill ! Bill who ? Bill-tup area !"

"What is it called when a ship attacks their own navy? Edit: Whoops wrong sub."

"[NSFW] I was seeing a girl once, five actually... Then the sorority started looking into the strange sounds in the attic."

"Somebody told me my clothes were gay. I said ""Yeah, they came out of the closet this morning."""

"I was working at the butchers yesterday and a man comes in looking for a small chicken. I asked him to describe it so we can look for it together."

"I bought my friend an elephant for his room He said: ""Thank you."" I said: ""Don't mention it."""

"[mall] Wife: Wait here. Me: Okay. Wife: Hold my purse. Me: Yes, ma'am. *looks in purse* *waves at testicles* Me: *sigh* I miss you guys!"

"What's the worst part of going to a southern family reunion? Seeing your ex."