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Joke of the Day

"[goes back in time to murder baby Hitler] wow long line of people here to kill him [goes back to murder myself] how is this line even longer"

"Even if I end up being a civil engineer I won't build tunnels. Because it's boring."

"What's the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut? About two weeks."

"How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don't need to, they glow in the dark..."

"two muffins were in an oven. one muffin turns to the other muffin and says ""its hot in here "" the second muffin turns to the first muffin and says "" holy shit a talking muffin"""

"Referring to another employee as a ""gingeraffe""will land you in sensitivity training...no matter how tall and redheaded they are."

"What's a programmer's least favorite wind instrument? The OBOE."

"What does the Philosophy major say a year after he graduates? ""Would you like fries with that?"""

"What did the chef say when he cooked up moose meat instead of beef? ""Oh no! I've made a huge MooseSteak!"""

"I hadn't seen my girlfriend for a while... When she saw me, she said, ""Wow, your hands are so soft!"" ""But... where have you been working out?"""