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Joke of the Day

"why did the possum cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken."

"What do you can an epileptic What do you call an epileptic in a garden? Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'"

"Princess Dianna had dandruff They found her head and shoulders in the glovebox."

"What does a Triceratops sit on? His Tricerabottom"

"Why did the strawberry go out with the pineapple? Because he couldn't get a date!"

"Do you know what paraplegics can't stand? *that"

"My dad says I'm lazy, but he's wrong. I like work. I could watch it for hours."

"Some guy had a concrete bench as his memorial. Seems odd but it's genius; he's dead and still getting ass."

"My priest's been buying tonnes of kittens lately... I think he's a Cat-a-holic."

"ME: Have you seen my denim jacket? GF: No, but it's okay. Just checked the weather & it's not going to be the 1980s today..."