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Joke of the Day

"Of course I swallow it's a basic function of eating. What kind of job interview is this anyway and why are there multiple cameras"

"I'm not getting the earth anything for Earth Day since it's not going to be around much longer anyway."

"If a white girl falls in the forest, and no one is around to omg, does she even?"

"Million dollar idea: Selling shower heads at the exit of a Ryan Gosling movie"

"I like my women how I like my light bulbs... Not too bright, easy to turn on and hanging from electrical wire in my basement."

"Dammit. My ""Bikini Inspector"" T-shirt's in the wash. How am I supposed to hit the town without irony?"

"A man walks into a bar after a long day in the mines He asks the bartender for some whiskey, but the bartender replies; ""Sorry, we can't sell alcohol to miners."""

"Johnny's mother called his father at work... ""Johnny just swallowed a nickle and spit up two dimes, what do I do??"" ""Keep feeding him nickles!"""

"My Indian friend is thinking of changing his name to Rim Shot. Every time someone tells a good joke, they call his name - Param Singh!"

"DETECTIVE: TELL US WHERE THE STOLEN BANK MONEY IS HIDDEN ROBBER: Nope, but I WILL give you a series of clues DETECTIVE: ok this sounds fun"