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Joke of the Day

"Its national left-handers day I'm going to rub one out with my right hand to give lefty his day off"

"We get it. If your candidate doesn't win in November, you're moving to the whitest English speaking country you can drive to."

"What is the difference between a baby and a alarm clock? You only have to hit the alarm clock once to make it be quiet..."

"I like my women how I like my coffee Lactose-free and 2%."

"""Take off your corduroy shorts so I can blow you,"" said no chick, ever."

"Did you all hear about the chicken that swallowed the yo-yo? Laid the same egg 44 times!"

"What do Greeks call someone when the most common consonant in their name is R? A rho-man"

"Batman: Use this spotlight to call me. Robin: What if it's daytime? Batman: *glares at Robin* Gordon: Yeah, what if it- Batman: *smoke bomb*"

"Mom: Take out the trash *I take the trash on a lovely date* Mom: Not what I meant *I assassinate the trash in an ally* Mom: Still wrong"

"Why did the scarecrow win so many awards? Because he was out standing in his field."