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Joke of the Day
"""Take off your corduroy shorts so I can blow you,"" said no chick, ever."
Next Joke
"I know pretty well how batteries must feel I'm rarely ever included in things either."
"""And that's the last time I ever pet a lion"", said Tom, offhandedly."
"What do spam emails and porn have in common? They both make me insecure about my penis."
"Policing the internet. Complaining to the police about something you've read on the internet is like suing a premium rate sex line for sexual harassment."
"What song title defines a redditor's love life? ""Left Hand Free"" By alt-J"
"A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.... A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""
"Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers? Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm."
"Not sure why, but even when I shower alone, I still get a little nervous when I drop the soap."
"What happens when a university math professor and a high school math teacher get it on? Calculust"