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Joke of the Day

"Why did the scarecrow win so many awards? Because he was out standing in his field."

"Lif is too short."

"All I want in this world is some one I can turn to and yell, ""Avenge Me!!"" if I'm dying or wrongly accused of a crime. Oh and rocket shoes"

"Al Gore's so boring his secret service name is Al Gore"

"DAD: What happened to your car? SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now"

"What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"Did you guys hear about Joan Rivers? The mortuary got $32 at the recycling center for her body."

"I like my women like Hillary Nasty and exposed !"

"The Energizer Bunny was recently arrested. He was charged with battery."

"I have that eating disorder where I threw up once cause I ate too much candy and now I nod knowingly when someone says they're bulimic."