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Joke of the Day

"We get it. If your candidate doesn't win in November, you're moving to the whitest English speaking country you can drive to."

"Adding Blonde Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key."

"Apparently ""if you must draw your eyebrows on, please draw them evenly"" was not the tip this waitress was expecting."

"Copper is highly conductive of electricity. Does that make it ""powermetal?"""

"It's all fun and games until you lose your wifi signal."

"There was no Mrs. Noah & the ark was lonely, thus explaining the evolutionary mishaps you'll find at Walmart."

"When I was a kid, we jumped fences, biked without helmets & drank out of public water fountains. It was a dangerous time, full of microbes."

"I'm 43 yrs old and still buying pot at a mall parking lot. On the flip side, Mom is 70 and still selling it there."

"Hey teacher, i made a clock! ""Did you say Allahu Akbar?"""

"A proton walks into a bar ... Tells the bartender, ""You don't serve my kind here"". ""Really ?!"", asks the bartender. ""I'm positive""."