174985

Joke of the Day

"Batman: Use this spotlight to call me. Robin: What if it's daytime? Batman: *glares at Robin* Gordon: Yeah, what if it- Batman: *smoke bomb*"

"what's it called when you're secretly a norse god? you're low key loki"

"An old man goes to the doctor... Man: Doc, my belly is so fat I can't see my penis at all! Doctor: Have you tried to diet? Man: Why? What color is it now?"

"What footwear does Hilary Clinton wear to the beach? Flip flops or scandals!"

"My jumper cables stopped working the other day So I called triple A to bounce up my trampoline"

"If he's dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all ""I still haven't gotten my period."""

"What's 10 inches long, hard as a rock, full of semen and makes all of the ladies scream? A 10 inch long cock."

"I asked my Chinese girlfriend for a 69 last night. She said 'Fuck off, I'm not cooking at this time of night'"

"Being attracted to my own flaccid penis really sucks. But it does have its ups and downs."

"Difference between a prostitute and a slut The prostitute sleeps with everybody. The slut sleeps with everybody except me."