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Joke of the Day
"Sorry I can't pay my rent this month, I bought an apple at the airport."
Next Joke
"Why did the blonde avoid eating cereal? Every box had, in huge letters, ""0mg cholesterol!"""
"Damn girl, are you a jar of pickles? Because I think I NEED to bang you on my kitchen counter."
"Starbucks this morning looks like a scene from ""The Walking Dead."""
"Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull."
"Why do we.... Cook bacons and bake cookies?"
"[Freddy Krueger enters my dream but I'm blasting Rebecca Black on repeat] Who's nightmare is it now Freddy?!"
"Why did the man sleep under the tractor? Because he wanted to wake up oily."
"Why does the couple at the beginning of a scary movie always have to be happy & sexy why can't it be like, Pat & Deb, 56 & 54, IBS sufferers"
"My friend got a tattoo of his wife's name so I guess he loves her as much as he loves barbed wire."