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Joke of the Day

"Why does the couple at the beginning of a scary movie always have to be happy & sexy why can't it be like, Pat & Deb, 56 & 54, IBS sufferers"

"Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac? They take things literally."

"What's the difference between you and an egg? The egg actually gets laid!"

"What do you call someone who sews extremely fast? Taylor Swift..."

"Bill Cosby told me a funny joke last night. But I can't remember it."

"My doctor had to put me on a new medication that's supposed to help lower the amount of karate in my blood"

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye... use chemicals to remove Polish and you're literally Hitler"

"I like my beer like i like my violence. Domestic.."

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? America can't milk a cow for 14 years."

"Operator: 911, what's your emergency. Me: I'm 33 and I tried to do a cartwheel."