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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull."

"Did you guys hear about the talking polar bear? He's very arcticulate! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"I asked my brother why he was taking a dictionary and thesaurus to his theater rehearsal. He said it was a play on words."

"Either I just stepped in dog shit or the stench of my parent's disappointment has started following me around."

"Policeman: Why are you driving on the sidewalk? Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street."

"I just thought of this while at a local hockey game. Why can't dogs play hockey? They always get called for roughing."

"Bad Gun! Bad Gun!....Shame on you for making criminals do those bad things!.......And then those Forks that are making me Fat!!!"

"*psst... ok ok be quiet... ssshhh...* uhhh... how do you sell a duck to a deaf guy? WANNA BUY A DUCK?!?! Uh... This joke isn't as good written down :-("

"Who needs a girlfriend when I have my right hand..... To make me sandwiches :)"

"TIFU by crashing my car The last thing that went through my mind was my anus"