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Joke of the Day

"[Freddy Krueger enters my dream but I'm blasting Rebecca Black on repeat] Who's nightmare is it now Freddy?!"

"I've bought drinks for guys and not as an equality thing but because when I'm drunk I forget that money is real."

"One quality im not looking for in a potential partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm"

"How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 5 Step 8, 9, 10"

"Why are women like condoms? Because they spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."

"One time I walked in to a pole..... ...... and, uh, I don't remember."

"Pacquiao wanted the fight to take place in the Philippines, but Mayweather insisted on Las Vegas. I guess he likes his venues just like he likes his violence...Domestic."

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Damn!"

"How does Bob Marley like his doughnut? w' jammin it"

"Hey girl, are you a fan? Because you're obsessive and loud"