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Joke of the Day
"If your New Year's resolution involves less drinking or cursing, it involves less of me."
Next Joke
"If you like internet jokes, you should see my online bank account."
"Two guys from Michigan wake up in Hell....... ...and they go about there day, and live there daily lives as citizens of Hell, Michigan."
"Why do penguins have skinny penises because they only have flippers"
"If clouds became sentient... They would take over the world."
"You can tell Monopoly's an old game because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail."
"What do you get when you cut an Avocado into 6.02 x 10^23 pieces? a guacaMOLE"
"How do I tell a guy that I'm only interested in him because I'd like to take selfies with his puppy?"
"*starts throwing a fit* Iron man: Here. Eat a Snickers. Doctor Banner: Thanks, bro."
"What's brown and rhymes with snoop...? Dr Dre"