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Joke of the Day

"New research shows there are no Ginger Bankers... Survey results suggested that although many wanted to work in finance, they wern't able to sell their soul to Satan..."

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"It doesn't take much to be a president... ... a liter of the country."
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"You know how you have that ONE hoodie that no matter when or what you're eating -- you ALWAYS spill something on it? It's cuz you're a pig."
"I saw a billboard that said, ""Be her Romeo"" and featured a pic of a diamond ring. Apparently they have not read Shakespeare."
"Roses are red Violets are blue Meet me in bed To learn something new Pfff....poetry is easy"
"""My friends on Facebook are idiots."" So, what you're saying is that you're smart, but not smart enough to not friend idiots. Got it."
"Why do they never serve a beer at math party? Because you can't drink and derive"
"*opens present HER: What is this? ME: It's The One Ring. I fought orcs for it. HER: They didn't have that Michael Kors bag I showed you?"
"When a women dates a younger man she's called a cougar, when a man dates a younger woman he is called Defendant."