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Joke of the Day

"Women say men get turned on when they nibble on their earlobes. I think it's bollocks. - Jimmy Carr"

"This hot girl ""punched""me in the dick this afternoon She only gently touched it, but it's all swollen up now :/"

"What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot"

"I figure that its safe to ask. How are those New Year's resolutions going?"

"If i had $1 for every time i got called beautiful.. I'd have $1. Thanks mom."

"What do they call Snoop Dogg in Asia? Snoop Dinner"

"What did my dad say after he asked for frozen casserole That's chili. E:dit Ok execution could be better. Any tips?"

"Well, I've reached that awkward t-shirt size between 'XL' and 'killing myself.'"

"A masochist and a sadist are having an argument. The masochist says, ""Whip me! Whip me! Beat me! Beat me!"" The sadist says, ""No."""

"What is better than a rose on a guitarist? Tulips on my pianist."