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Joke of the Day

"So the local Spandex store just closed The local spandex store closed down... ... I guess they couldn't expand"

"What happened to the man with a legal fetish when he went to court for his parking ticket? He got off on a technicality"

"My girlfriend started bleeding during sex, and I told her to suck it up. In a few years, she'll bleed every month."

"Why don't birds wear underwear? Because, their pecker is on their head."

"How to make an idiot curious? I'll post the answer tomorrow."

"Carrots cant float. But if you tie fishy wire to one and hang it in the air and look at it from far away, it almost look like its floating"

"A photon checks into a hotel and is asked ""do you have any luggage, Sir?"" The photon replies ""no, I'm travelling light"""

"Tequila! Vodka! Whiskey! I'm calling the shots."

"FARMER: [when the protractor he ordered online finally gets delivered] this isn't what i wanted at all"

"What's the difference between an Nvidia card and an AMD card? One empties your pocket. The other makes Hot Pockets."