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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" ""9/11."" ""9/11 who?"" ""...*you said you'd never forget*"""

"why did the scarecrow win a medal? because he was outstanding in his field"

"I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science."

"[FBI job interview] ""Do you have any self defense training?"" *flashback to hiding behind fence from teenagers* Yes I'm skilled at fencing."

"A woman's work is never done. That's why they get paid less. (Source: Frankie Boyle)"

"what did Freud say about an algebraic equation? What you do to one side, you must also do to your mother"

"I like to push the envelope because it's probably a bill, and eventually it'll fall off the table."

"What do you call a black man on the ISS? An astronaut."

"""Hi. I'm an insane maniac."" - People who write more than three sentences to describe an Instagram photo"

"John! Do you see that guy over there?? John : Yeah? Peter : He is gay John : oh....really ?? How do you know that??? Peter : His dick tastes like poop"