199766

Joke of the Day

"Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box? because she kept sitting on pinocchio's face moaning, ""lie to me!"""

"I liked you better before we met."

"I told this girl that I was an architect. It's true in a way, since I now have to design an intricate web of lies to back it up."

"""Surely EVERYONE pisses in the shower?"" I protest as I'm dragged out of Ikea"

"Nobody thinks my march madness bracket will win I just can't see why people would dismiss a team that beat professional organizations last year. I say Golden State all the way."

"At Toys R Us: TRU: Yessir? Me: I want a light saber. TRU: We have basic to advanced, how old is your grandson? Me: 40ish"

"After sex, I take the condom off and make a balloon animal for the lady."

"I farted in my wallet now i have gas money."

"A catholic priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar He orders a beer"

"I'm sorry I snort-laughed when you were saying your vows."