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Joke of the Day

"What did the doctor say to the cancer patient? You have tumor months to live."

"Mark Zuckerberg screwed over his class mates and best friend. Do you honestly think he cares about your opinion on the new Timeline layout?"

"Before I really understood sarcasm people would say things like ""oh, well look who it is"" and I'd be like ""it's me Karen, I'm your daughter"""

"I've written a musical called Fish. It's very similar to Cats, although Memory's a lot shorter."

"I missed you with all my darts"

"cop: ""can you point at which zebra it was"" zebra: ""ha good luck we all look the same"" me: [points at zebra wearing my sunglasses] ""that one"""

"What is Pink and lies on the doormat? Whitney Houston's Valentines Day Cards"

"How do they tie things down on the space station? They use astro knots."

"Dicaprio finally won an Oscar!!! Sorry wrong sub..."

"There are two types of people in the world Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data..."