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Joke of the Day

"Getting my dachshund teardrop tattoos & rebranding him Lil Wein."

"Probably too soon... But it looks like Peaches Geldof doesn't like Mondays, either."

"Why did the Spy cross the road? 'Cause he wasn't really on your side."

"It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it."

"The toilet bowl was stolen from the local police precinct last night. The cops have nothing to go on."

"Shout out to slugs for doing everything a snail does without a helmet"

"My bird puns are so EGG-cellent - Do you wanna hear a bird pun? - No - Well... this is HAWK-ward - dammit"

"I've just been offered 8 legs of venison for 25 I think it's too deer"

"I've always wanted a pew in my house Because I remember how well I use to sleep on those."

"What do you call the ring that worms leave round the bath ? The scum of the earth !"