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Joke of the Day

"An old guy with a horrible toupee stopped me in the parking lot to tell me this random joke...made me crack up. How do you get down from an elephant?? YOU DON'T! You get down from a goose!!"

"My ex DM'd me to say I'm acting creepy then unfollowed me. Luckily, I have his password so I just refollowed myself and told him he's wrong."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers aren't capable of having any sort of feelings, and you are weird for thinking they do."

"Teacher:""Okay class, time to take a test. Please take out your no.2 pencils."" *Takes out no.1 pencil* ( )"

"IF JFK taught me one thing... The best way to clear your head is to take a ride in your car."

"What kind of girl gets away with being five years old and having sex with 20 guys? A woman born on February 29th 1996."

"Helium Walks into a bar and orders a beer the bartender says sorry we don,t server noble gases here He Doesnt React"

"Why did no one come to the ghost's party? [OC] The h was in charge of the invitations."

"I can get most of Reddit to hate me in one sentence I'm watching Sword Art Online (my favorite anime) on my iPhone while reading a Minions fanfic on my Wii U and eating bananas dipped in ketchup"

"I like my women like I like my coffee Ground up, dried out and stashed in the freezer."