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Joke of the Day

"What kind of girl gets away with being five years old and having sex with 20 guys? A woman born on February 29th 1996."

"Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts."

"What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick? A chunky. Credit to my dad this morning.."

"What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it? Money's tight these days!"

"What is orange and sounds like a parrot ? A carrot"

"Anyone know how to fix a guardian angel, I think mine is broken."

"Did you hear about the new restaraunt on the moon? It's got great food, just no atmosphere.."

"The cutest thing my SO does... Her handwriting looks like she has Parkinson's"

"I used to wonder what it'd be like to read other people's minds. Then I got a Twitter account, and I'm over it."

"Why did the socialist drop out of high school math? Because there were too many damn inequalities."