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Joke of the Day

"Teacher:""Okay class, time to take a test. Please take out your no.2 pencils."" *Takes out no.1 pencil* ( )"

"What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships."

"What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit? Hare in your milk!"

"Well it's now clear to me that this crime scene would be considered, what? Pants required? Pants preferred? Hey, is that guy dead?"

"I used to be really scared about marriage... In fact, I hear 50% of all marriages end up lasting Forever!"

"Holy shit there's a spider under my keyboard I think it's under control"

"If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-gong and died what would they put on his coffin? A lid."

"So important your wife knows you're petting the dog when she hears you say ""you're getting a little chunky"""

"Why do natives hate snow? Because it's white and it's on their land!"

"What do you call a farmer in the army? E.I. G.I Joe."