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Joke of the Day

"Teacher:""Okay class, time to take a test. Please take out your no.2 pencils."" *Takes out no.1 pencil* ( )"

"Why does all of Jared Fogle's music sound the same? Because he loves to abuse A Minor."

"Her dad said he'd like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me."

"If Hitler had a pet, what would it be? A dolphin"

"Condoms are like rules... ...they're made to be be broken."

"Got an A on my paper... Time to write the rest of it"

"Hey, Edgar Allen, go ahead and Poe me up another drink! Don't tell me to be quiet, lady! Why are there so many books in this bar?"

"The restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally, but just me getting a pat down from airport security."

"I'm still pissed that ""testicle Tuesday"" never took off."

"Why do Mexicans walk around school like they own the place? Their dads built it and their moms clean it."