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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my coffee Ground up, dried out and stashed in the freezer."

"Q: What holds the moon up? A: Moonbeams."

"i wanna get a huge pile of rocks for my driveway so i can park my car like a range rover dealership"

"eating dinner with a gun in both of my hands is challenging but i realized i can just shoot the food and catch the splatter in my mouth"

"I've started picking up dudes by walking into Starbucks and ""accidentally"" dropping my recipe for bacon tacos."

"Pretty ironic how there's an active ingredient in marijuana."

"What's black on the outside and white on the inside? Whitney Houston's nose"

"Why do people who like bondage shy away from anonymous one-night stands? There's no strings attached."

"Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water. God knows what they did up there because they came down with a daughter."

"I'm going to throw an awesome surprise party for my daughter when she gets home and realizes I know that she snuck out! SURPRISE!"