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Joke of the Day

"Some people need therapy. ... The rest of us just know how to conceal evidence"

"What is the cheapest kind of meat you can buy? Deer balls, they're under a buck."

"If being successful was an amusement park, I'm the kid that drove his bumper car in the corner and can't get out."

"I was so hungry this morning I almost ate a clock.... I didn't because it's time consuming. Also, I'd have to go back for seconds. I'm here all day.."

"My dad keeps trying to teach us... My dad keeps trying to teach us about our partially Eskimo heritage, but I don't care. I'm just not Inuit."

"What do we want? A CURE FOR TOURETTES! When do we want it? CUNT!"

"How many divorced men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who knows, they never get the house."

"What do you call a low income part of a town or city that is comprised mostly of pasta? The ""Speghetto""."

"""Hey were you born on a highway?"" Kevin asked. Kevin continued, ""Because that's where accidents happen."""

"*Shakespeare resetting his password* ""Enter new password."" Fortnight ""Your password is two weeks."""